Tuesday, June 29, 2010

You Know It's Bad When You Can't Even Cry It Out


It's been a true emotional roller-coaster these last 2 weeks.
Been to the bottom of an endless chasm.

My body was in so much shock that it didn't have any fluid to turn it into tears.
Since the discoveries, I haven't cried a tear.
That, to me, isn't good.

No matter how macho - eh, macho plak - no matter how strong we think we are, crying it out helps.
But I haven't managed to do that.
Emotional amputation?

People thought I was a tough cookie
But in actuality, I am only human.
I crashed.
Almost thought that was the end of me.

Only God can present me with such challenge and only He can help me heal.
Only He can make things happen... or not.

The one thing that keeps my sanity and keeps me at peace is when I am with Him.
I have done so many mistakes in my life, might have abandoned Him along the way, too.
For that, I am embarrassed.

I cry even when I am asleep but I can never see the tears.

Today, another 'news' came in.


Write & I Shall Heal.


  1. nak tulis omputih tak pandai,
    tapi setiap sesuatu yang berlaku, ada hikmahnya,
    mungkin ini dugaan untuk kita lebih dekat kepadaNya.

  2. kristy norizam - wallahualam. Dia Maha Mengetahui and He knows best. :)

  3. whatever that you're going through, be strong zett. i agree with kristy norizam, setiap yg berlaku, ada hikmahnya.

  4. sesuatu yg berlaku adalah ujian terhadap kita dari sang pencipta .. tabah lah hati dan tabah lah diri utk kita menghadapinya .. :(

  5. He has better plans for you. :)
    Hang in there. Stay the superwoman that you are.