I was reading The Choo-Choo Train (again, yes. I told you I miss The Choo-Choo Train) and came across the following entry.
I have to say that even I had to rub my chest after reading this story.
Sad, man, really.
& just FYI, the story was written when someone was suffering on the dentist's chair.
'till i see you again
They finally picked a place. It was a rather intimate venue. For a rather intimate do. They had scout for a place for almost 6 months and nothing was ever agreeable between the two, until this one. He wanted somewhere convenient for everyone. She wanted somewhere cosy for her ultimate day.
They picked the theme color together, albeit it didn’t please everyone . The decor was just like what they’d envisaged together. They didn’t need a planner, everything was done between them, themselves.
The serene entrance which leads to where they would be standing as husband and wife was blissfully lit; you just couldn’t miss the love that fills the air.
Perfect was perhaps an understatement, for the ambience.
The night was a flawless navy blue. The breeze that was blanketing the night seemed as though they too, had cooperated well. Everything, every single thing was picture perfect.
He stood there, poised. Just how everyone had expected.
But there was something about his unruffled presence that was disturbing.
He stood there longer than what was required of him.
When the signal to walk forward by the father of the bride was ignored, heads turned to look back. Over everybody’s shoulders, stood an impeccably dressed groom.
The one piece of the night that nearly completed the entire perfectness.
“she knew she was dying”, was all that he could afford to say without even moving any muscle other than his jaw.
And a letter felt out of his right palm.
I couldn’t bank on your mother’s eternal protest about us being together because I knew it deep down, that one day; you would still make me your bride.
So, I planned my dream wedding. My sumptuous dream wedding.
Our tastes differ to a certain extent --- so I’d noticed. I like everything subtle and sweet , you love it bold and leave it all up to me, so don’t say that I hadn’t given in too ok --- but having each other shows that we have the best taste of ‘em all.
I’m sure you’re wondering what’s the meaning of it all when in the end, tonight... you would be standing there, reading this.
You would never understand what it was like to drag my feet and plan my wedding which I knew I wasn’t able to attend. But I had to do it.
I am not going to say sorry for the arguments over which best friend of yours should be the best man, over which ice sculpture should be in the middle of the garden, over which band should get the honor of playing on our very special night [I seriously hope it isn’t your friend's band that is standing under the marquee tonight], over which sampin looks better on you.
I am not, because for not being there tonight, those are the closest fondest memories I get to keep.
I am not going to apologize for keeping this a secret, either.
Because it is a secret, you have treated me and us as typically as I would have expected. And for every 1425 days we spent together, I am blessed that it has been a secret. I wouldn’t have known what it was like to go as a “normal” person if it wasn’t. Believe me; I know what it is like to go as someone who was battling.
All that “special treatment” one gets when others know that one is dying just wasn’t in my to-do-before-I-die list. But being married to you, was.
Every time we tick one thing off our wedding preparation list, I felt like I was already married to you. I knew I wasn’t going to be there to see the final outcome of everything we had planned together but I had imagined the whole scenario in my head so hard that it probably worsen the tumor! But don’t worry, my doctor ensured me that the last 6 months was the calmest time of my life. I didn’t even have one attack!
I had imagined myself in the dress I picked, being under the gazebo with you holding my hands, looking into each other’s eyes, trying to keep the moment on a standstill. Everything was beautiful. Do know that that would be the last thing I had in mind tonight too.
Tell my sisters that there is no word --- goodness! I never knew constructing this sentence for them would build a big boulder in my throat! --- of gratitude would ever express my gratefulness for all their help with the wedding. You know that I would miss them the most!
So, now that everyone is there, all our closest and dearest friends and relatives, I want you to tell them that you have been fooled by your bride who couldn’t be there under unavoidable reason. I am sure they would understand my absence and would excuse me.
Everyone that is there has touched my life, our lives in one way or another. Please thank them for me for being part of tonight and make sure they too celebrate our love. My life.
I am going to miss you till hell freezes over – I hope I’m not heading there now, though – and promise me you will take care of yourself as I had, unfortunately for us I just couldn’t hang in there for another day. It would have been a lot different if I could have stayed until tomorrow but I think this is best. I’d saved you the trouble of inviting the same faces to my funeral.
And thanks for agreeing with me that a garden wedding was the most perfect “so me” do and don’t forget the fireworks! I promise to watch it from here.
‘til I see you again.
Almost immediately, the fireworks display started and he could feel her there, smiling at him, as she always does when there are fireworks.
Posted by Angelita Atractivo at 10:55:00 AM 3 comments
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